meadowlark

2011-06-29T00:37:00.001-04:00

memories seem to resonate in my mind. so tangible, i feel like they are happening all over again. can i ever get those things back?

2011-06-06T00:25:00.001-04:00

poetry, you are to me.

2011-06-06T00:16:00.001-04:00

lots of waiting...

2011-06-04T00:30:00.001-04:00

taking pleasure in the little things.

2011-06-02T14:49:00.001-04:00

calm after a storm.

2011-05-21T17:01:00.000-04:00

yes, i am writing you down.
but you already know that... dont you?

the smells of summer,

2011-05-19T22:00:00.001-04:00

"reflecting"

rapture,

2011-05-19T01:37:00.004-04:00

i feel like i am finally away from that. but what really can i say?
freedom is not the point. freedom is not the point. freedom is not the point.

2011-05-18T20:23:00.001-04:00

still here?
nothing is coming out right.

2010-10-01T17:06:00.004-04:00

im sorry i have been away, i do that quite often. im not sure if i was ever missed or noticed... does anyone read this? oh well.
i have started life again in the same city that i have resided for the past four years. out of school, and finished obligatory studies, i have immersed myself into the world of work and early sleep. in my few moments off, i have been distracted by a knitting club (stitch and bitch), listening to my favourite songs over and over (on a good day), and a few period films (about poets, silk).
im still unsure of what i am doing here, and why i ever chose to stay - but im hoping this town will keep me safe and satisfied. i am working at a popular downtown cafe, and making a number of new friends and having fabulous chats with random strangers and regular customers. i this i have missed out on so much of this city while i was in school, so hopefully this year i will be able to re-discover it.
i just hope it is all worthwhile?

2010-07-17T23:40:00.001-04:00

canoeing, 2010.

2010-05-07T00:02:00.001-04:00

a booksale last saturday morning.

2010-05-04T01:04:00.001-04:00

goodbye 37 wellington!

2010-04-21T16:58:00.000-04:00

stolen flowers, $20 rug.
2 days until i am done my university degree.

2010-03-03T16:29:00.001-05:00

march is the month where longing sets in.

2010-03-03T15:55:00.002-05:00

my poor soul! oh, the things it has seen and done.
are my freedoms turning me into a slave?

just as it should be,

2010-02-17T00:52:00.004-05:00

i never do well with things beyond my control. i like to remain conscious, with my feet planted firmly on the ground. problems with trust i guess, but that's okay! i do believe i am the best determinate for all things i.

2010-02-16T14:39:00.004-05:00

and the days are not full enough
and the nights are not full enough
and life slips by like a field mouse
not shaking the grass.
-e.p.

2010-01-14T10:25:00.001-05:00

i dont feel that way anymore! oh, life.

2010-01-03T22:33:00.000-05:00

"nothing of me is original. i am the combined effort of everybody i've ever known."

2009-12-08T15:34:00.003-05:00

my gut aches when it remembers all those perfect songs.
oh, how i miss my all-canadian, all-loving, music-making, guitar-picking friends.
why did i ever stop singing?

light,

2009-12-04T15:25:00.002-05:00

wishing i knew morning well.

time goes toooo fast,

2009-12-02T19:38:00.002-05:00

i like to pierce the skin of clementine’s, just so i can smell sweet orange all afternoon.
by the way: when i talk about one thing it usually means ive been thinking about it for a very, very long time.

i rhymed,

2009-11-30T17:17:00.008-05:00

christmas is almost near/cheer/beer. i know this because i've smelly clementine hands.
wishing for a pup, cat, or baby anything to fill my christmas stocking. alas, my eyes, nose, ears and throat would not be too pleased.
but it would be nice to have something rely on me as i do so upon you.
hoping to one day take trains and automobiles to places i have never been. making plans! that will not happen, but its fun all the same.
i will have something interesting to say soon, i promise!
life, life, life. ohhh like a great novel.

fluttering on my finger

2009-11-29T02:05:00.000-05:00

dreams of hummingbirds

2009-11-18T19:05:00.002-05:00

dreams of my future.
longing/lovers/babies in my belly/some very good food.

gone,

2009-10-24T20:40:00.004-04:00

last night i had a dream about my grandmother. she had come to see us, and my whole family scrambled together - we were all aching to see her. she had longer hair then before, it was down to her shoulders (like when she was young). we laughed and cried and hugged and ate. we were so happy, but so scared because we knew that in any moment she would disappear.
i caught her up on my life, she giggled and kissed me and said that she was proud, goodbye. then i awoke.
maybe this is the only way she can visit, i don’t know if i will ever see her again. for how can a mind exist without matter? how does a thought exist without the means to formulate it? it just does not follow. how can someone love while having nothing to contain it?

in anticipation of what is to come,

2009-09-23T23:32:00.000-04:00

run rabbit, run.

am,

2009-09-08T01:22:00.005-04:00

realizing the importance of human connection and physicality. we aren’t the best in many ways, but we do okay.
striving to become more organic, driven, and perfectly shaven.
chubby knees are not the worst thing.

pet,

2009-08-17T15:16:00.005-04:00

lucy loves white antelope too!

note to self:

2009-08-17T10:59:00.000-04:00

take more photographs, you are an artist.

2009-08-16T15:03:00.001-04:00

wishing i still had the mind of a child.

still here, processing.

2009-08-12T17:22:00.003-04:00

i feel the utmost amount of guilt when i think about my new job.
this is, by far, the most selfish thing i have ever done.

a misplaced hair, singing off key,

2009-07-04T02:34:00.004-04:00

i dont like perfection. i like speckles and spots and scrapes and bruises. i like the little things that go wrong, the details that make everything unique. cracks and stains and rust and rips are whats best! i like things the most when they are in their natural state. as i get older, more and more, i am growing to love all things imperfect. all things are imperfect.

this month,

2009-06-30T01:56:00.007-04:00

i saw the union of two and my grandfathers eyes have been cut straight open. i ripped up carpet! and tomorrow my mother and i will put down wooden floors. i feel so strong sometimes. i feel so sad sometimes, sometimes i feel happy. i have been thinking a lot about the past lately and im finding that i am not angry. i do not regret, i do not resent, i feel basically nothing. (but this may be a little more painful then pain itself. i expect certain things so that i am not disapointed. this will probably backfire huge one day when i am old and grey)
my job has been lost, my job has been lost, all of those peoples jobs have been lost.
my brother gets older on canada day.
i dont want to sound the same as anyone else.

this will be,

2009-06-30T01:51:00.001-04:00

things are much slower and time is never wasted.

thinking about,

2009-06-08T20:21:00.010-04:00

her.

thinking about,

2009-06-08T18:00:00.001-04:00

a giraffes neck, stove top chai, trampolines.

thinking about,

2009-06-08T17:42:00.001-04:00

mint on the roof of my mouth, comparing my body to fruit, all those spanish tongues.

thinking about,

2009-06-05T15:36:00.002-04:00

a theme, a rhyme, a series.

the greatest compliment,

2009-05-23T21:44:00.003-04:00

today my little girl neighbour told me i look like belle!
i wish, i wish.

summer days spent,

2009-05-22T17:18:00.013-04:00

this summer is much better then the last. i have myself a new job - i am working at a candy factory. poetic, i think.
a delightful cast of characters accompany me. my neighbour and childhood best friend meaghan - with whom i share many memories of the past with (running into each other with sleeping bags! the little slide in her basement! getting pushed into pools! the little house/shed in her backyard! our crazy puppies playing with each other! and all of those nights our parents tucked us away and out of their hair). there are the ladies from newfoundland, whos accents completely devour everything they say and make them very funny to listen too. there is lola; the older, playful and leggy lady who always makes wonderful faces and sticks out her tongue at everyone. there's goreta from chile - quiet, with thick eyebrows and thighs, a mole on her lip and a voice of low baritone. there are the many old asian women who all have english names, madelina, rachelle and em - they are very hard to understand but adorable and delicate. and last but not least, there is 19 year old rambo - named after the sylvester stallone movie! amazing.
i hope that these months at home bring happiness and rest. the past two summers were terrible, because i was surrounded by horrible people and never got the chance to sleep or see anyone i loved. those days turned me into something awful and changed me completely. i hope that will never happen again.
lately i have learned that happiness truly is much, much more important than money.

2009-05-14T18:24:00.002-04:00

he was full of tenderness;
she was very hard.
and as much as she tried to stay thus,
simply, and with no good reason,
he took her into himself,
and set her down
in the softest, softest place.

2009-05-05T01:13:00.001-04:00

he's always there.

slowly,

2009-04-18T11:59:00.001-04:00

"we're like elephants, you and i!"

swiftly,

2009-04-15T03:37:00.000-04:00

here, time is fleeting. now its time to go back home.

follow the leader,

2009-04-15T02:36:00.002-04:00

i hope i dont bore any of you. all of these posts are just little snippits of my thoughts - i would collaborate if i could.
i write better if i force myself, but then end up sounding all wrong and twisted.
lately i feel wrong and twisted.
its "refreshing".

school is over for now, and it makes me feel strange to think about.
(i feel like i only record the big steps i take.)

born in a garden,

2009-04-10T23:30:00.001-04:00

tulips!
its true!

we're a ragtag bunch,

2009-04-02T22:22:00.002-04:00

and i love the sound of my friends laughing!

death of the author,

2009-04-01T12:29:00.001-04:00

how am i read?

quiet nights. home,

2009-04-01T01:40:00.001-04:00

i like the little life we have set up for ourselves here.

still alive,

2009-03-23T15:12:00.006-04:00

i have barely been online in the last week, and i have been horribly ignoring all of my journals/profiles/staus updates/and all other meaningless internet things. oh well.
anyways, an update:
1. fame is finally over, which i am very happy and very sad about. there was lots of misunderstandings and my fingers were sore from how much sewing i did, but it was fun and nice and all worth it because being apart of shows is always amazing.
2. lots of people have been coming to me for help and i really like that i can be that trusted.
3. in the past month i hated everything that i thought/said/did. i found that all of me was boring/unoriginal/or cynical. i didnt want people to think those things of me, so i basically said nothing for a couple days. everything i did would be torn up or erased or regretted. i kept on writing things that i never published. i think thats over, but if this is gone in the next couple hours the i guess its not.
4. school is great and i cannnnt wait until next year.
5. today i bought a big plant today and i reaaaally want to keep this one alive.
6. jason took me on the best date yesterday, AND he cleaned my room when i was super stressed about the show... best boyfriend ever.
7. my sister is stranded in frankfurt, i wish i was her.
8. i really, really want to travel somewhere soon. ive realized that i should not wait to be financially stable to do the things i want to do, because by that time i wont be able to. i should really do what i want right now, so im going to.
9. the weather is nice so im not a snowbird anymore.
10. and i have 2 papers due this week. time to work.

hopefully i will write more soon.

meadowlark

2009-03-14T22:18:00.001-04:00

it has been a wonderful day.
(there is no snow anymore)

far too uninteresting,

2009-03-09T00:03:00.004-04:00

i dont like who i am becoming.

re: ::

2009-03-04T14:19:00.001-05:00

saddest post ever. im sorry she has gone because of me :(

not actually,

2009-02-25T00:26:00.003-05:00

for now and the future, all i want is a simple life.
filled with art, tea, ___, books and music.

2009-02-22T03:26:00.007-05:00

while looking at old photographs, i could smell her scent again.

untitled 1,

2009-02-21T03:06:00.005-05:00

my bones are your bones.

2009-02-11T17:21:00.001-05:00

i long to go to the place where my grandmother was born.

thorns,

2009-02-09T19:14:00.000-05:00

i feel much more unattractive because i do not agree.

its been a while,

2009-02-09T16:57:00.007-05:00

play costumes lots, cupcakes for dinner, photographs in bed. "im gonna live forever", making decadent sandwiches, i won jenga! resting on floors. reading lots, cover songs. fresh sheets, bleeding fingernails, sewing needles. cheap dinners, falling asleep. johnny cash, "oops, i dooo have an exam this week". plus degree weather! and nice walks! free car, old film, goat cheese. owls, owls, owls. secret love letters, secret poems, secret sex.
home in a few days. its been a while since i have seen home.

2009-02-03T22:33:00.001-05:00

i am very stuck on epiphenomenalism.

where the water meets the sand

2009-01-28T02:50:00.003-05:00

she sells them oranges by the shore, three for a silver piece, the last they'll taste of this sweet land, before they set out east. they walk with eyes fixed to the ground, never to see her face, one by one they come and go, never to see her grace. i hear them calling me to leave, the grace thats in her hand, thats all that i have ever known, the past and its command. this restless pull to wander seas, has held me like a leash- and never till she held me close, have i ever felt released. i've held the night with a drunkards hand, i've herd the dark sirens spell, i've woke the dawn in my own blood, from the bottom of a well. in the morning light she calls to me, and holds my calloused hand, she bids me to come lay with her, where the water meets the sand.

2009-01-21T17:24:00.004-05:00

ive been finding the most comfort in things that are tangible. pens, pages, and leather bound bindings offer me the most protection this month. maybe soon/one day/some day i will type out all of my scribbled thoughts and share them with you. but as for now, they will be the only ones i confide in.

2009-01-14T14:29:00.000-05:00

2009-01-14T14:11:00.005-05:00

i hope that people can love me for what i really am. for what they dont know about me, what they could know about me, and all that is secret.
i dont want a half of anything. i want a whole.
i want to know all of you.

trouble;

2009-01-08T16:51:00.003-05:00

underlined: the sea remains the unthinkable birth and death

2009-01-05T23:27:00.004-05:00

on a happier note,
i really love pretty stories of a boy and a girl who cannot touch. sometimes drowning yourself in a scene is okay, as long as you dont ever forget the life that brought you there.
tonight "womens poetry in france (1965-1995)" was my favorite read (thank you, lovely girl!). it was best with fuzzy bathrobes and wet, sweet smelling shower hair. ive misplaced my glasses, so my eyes were trying to squeeze the letters right off the pages! (and it worked pretty well). i have found that those numbered 33, 107, and 201 are the best for my current state of heart.
la mer reste l'impensable naissance et mort

the most comforting sound

2008-12-31T03:38:00.004-05:00

static puts me to sleep. those songs that sound like they were recorded in basements, under staircases or from a pocket at a little show are always the best. the ones with coughs and claps and creeks and throat clearings... the sounds of rough and quiet. these are the most comforting sounds. they remind me of my younger self, fiddling around with my friends and listening to songs they would sing to me. they remind me of home.

2008-12-22T01:01:00.001-05:00

She is standing on my eyelids
And her hair is in my hair
She has the color of my eye
She has the body of my hand
In my shade she is engulfed
As a stone against the sky

She will never close her eyes
And she does not let me sleep
And her dreams in the bright day
Make the suns evaporate
And me laugh cry and laugh
Speak when I have nothing to say

holidays

2008-12-18T03:58:00.004-05:00

i may be hiding from the sun, or it may be hiding from me. it seems i can never sleep until its just about morning time, then i wake up when mom shows and infomercials are the only things on tv. all i want to do at nighttime now is to look at art and wish i could create it (that, that and that!) or watch films and be lazy and now my eyes are burning. home is a little lacking, but things are normal. i have been wrapping presents (not from me) alllllll day, and i am very very excited about christmas because i really love eating turkey. my family plays fun games and lovingly bickers at eachother all day long on christmas, and its my moms birthday too. we never save the wishbone.
last night i saw the sound of music with every single lady in my boyfriends family. all night i cried and shivered and held my hands to my face, it was the most wonderful thing. i wish sooooooo so so so so much that i had time to do another play right now (for those of you who do not know, i am an avid musical theater player and have been many characters, from chava to gretal to cinderella. theater and dance and singing were my entire life from ages 5-17.) since i started university i have not done any plays... i miss it terribly. i hope that those nights on stage will not just turn into a memory of mine. the stage is where i thrive! i want to feel that again.
i think i am getting sick because all i do is sit on my bum and bake. oh dear.
i wish i could write what i really wanted in here, but just as what has happened in my other blogs - ive become cautious. im too scared of everything. i want to say so many things! but i shouldnt, so i dont.
dont judge me. please, please dont ever judge me.
lately i feel like saying bad things.

2008-12-13T00:01:00.001-05:00

2008-12-12T14:23:00.003-05:00

im really, really happy with the mistakes i have made.

yay!

2008-12-10T21:42:00.005-05:00

i am finally finished my first semester of third year. the past two months have been awful because of the incredible amount of school work i have had to do - ive never had to write so many papers in my life! big or small, my final count was roughly 30 for the semester. i think it might have even been more then that. it does seems my hard work has paid off and lately i am feeling infinitely smarter then i ever have before, but i just really hope i never have to go through that again.
now for the next month, i will not have to think about nietzche, kant, frege, malinowski, or wittgenstien at all! (but god knows i will still think of those impoverished, sexualized carribs or the slaves of major corporations in africa.)

my celebrations are less exciting then most. i will simply lie back with my favorite tea in hand, my favorite song repeating in my headphones and the best chocolate i can find. while among my dirty and tangled sheets and my softly lit tea lights, i will stare at the dark celling and bask (for hours) in the lovely tranquility of calm.

too many things.

2008-12-07T00:21:00.003-05:00

posts have been lacking because i have more schoolwork now then i ever have, or ever probably (hopefully) will again.
ive been losing sleep over too many things.
8 papers and 1 exam. eight papers and one exam.
ive been losing sleep over too many things.
pray for me if thats what you do.
ive been losing sleep over too many things.
i will come back to you on wednesday.

its cold...

2008-12-03T15:09:00.004-05:00

so im a snowbird now.

2008-11-29T15:35:00.001-05:00

ive been biting my nails far too often these days, im nervous about something.
ive been bating my eyes, im as frail as a leaf.

specimens,

2008-11-28T15:46:00.001-05:00

a circle, a square.

2008-11-24T15:51:00.007-05:00

i want to be an elf, a hippie, a love child, a fairy.
i want to be so many things. when i look at groups and crowds and cliques i can only think that i am all of them. i am the goth, the really big geek who sits in the back. i am the world explorer and the loner. i am the principle and the most beautiful girl in school.
i am the dark and light and morning and night. i am the painter and the music maker. i am the christian, the buddist and the nudist. im the really rich kid, and the one who had to steal his bread. i am the bearded and the bald. im a fish. im the baker and the candlestick maker. i am the contradictory, i am the unfinished. i am a circle, i am a square.
i feel like a cat today, like i have 9 lives. i am realizing more and more that there are so many parts of my life that will never know the other parts.
maybe i am confused. but today i am feeling like so many separate things.
(though i probably wont be feeling this way tomorrow.)

on a separate note:
the past week was really good. i baked an apple pie and found a brownies dress among little girls vintage. i peeled clementines, bought baileys liquor chocolates and dried 2 bouquets. i sat amongst friends who quietly strummed guitar, i put a little boy to bed and i stole extra bread. i watched a strange movie, ate a really nice dinner out and kissed romantically by candle light.
this day has been lazy and among other things, im feeling intellectual. the trees are blowing over and guelph is getting another snowfall of the season.
things are so simple because i have made a purpose of not making things complicated. from my past i have learned that things are better left quiet. life is only happy if you focus on what is beautiful. that way, i dont cry too much.
of course i am afraid that soon, things will get twisted. school is very hard and some people i love are in very bad places in their lives. but winter months bring upon so much change. and as the seasons change, i change too. i can only only pray that the inevitable change is good.

2008-11-23T00:53:00.003-05:00

i yearn for a seahorse as a pet. that is going to be my entire christmas list.

dont stay so far away from me

2008-11-22T00:12:00.005-05:00

yesterday was the day of all days.
i saw my greatest (old) friend, whom i (love and) miss more then any friend in the world - because its a very rare occasion that we can see eachother (because of jobs/exams/time and those constant seperating oceans). he played his own amazing music for all my (new) friends! and he was (so) scared... even though he had no reason to be. his music (, on numerous occasions has) made me cry.
and had my 3 year anniversary with jason. 3 (long) years, 3 (short) years and so many (many) more to go. he bought me (lovely) flowers! (for the first time ever! hah!) i will show them to you when i do my (dried flower) art. (i feel) i want to marry this boy.
what a lovely, lovely day.
(i feel like my past and my future have flashed before my eyes.)

snowbirds

2008-11-19T18:07:00.003-05:00

2008-11-18T02:15:00.001-05:00

life is a blur..

2008-11-14T01:25:00.003-05:00

i dont ever want any of my friends to feel like they are alone or unworthy. so many of them have been hurt lately, and my heart just aches for them. i want to strive to be a really great friend because so many people in my life really need that right now.
they need someone to keep their hearts, and i dont want to leave any of them behind. i want to hold them and cry for them and stay up with them all night to talk. i always want them to feel like they are loved and that they have someone to confide in. i want them to really experience the good in life and to see how much they are cared for and appreciated. i want them to know the truth.

lately, i am immersed within the people i love. in their times of need i have realized one thing:
friends, you are my home.

2008-11-13T15:12:00.001-05:00

everything is changing.

2008-11-13T01:39:00.001-05:00

im feeling dainty today... ive been drinking out of very tiny teacups.

2008-11-11T15:55:00.004-05:00

lately ive been wanting to make a series of dried flower art. i have many vintage wooden frames that would be perfect for things of this sort.
sadly, wildflowers are not in bloom at this time of year.
someone, please buy me a bouquet.

2008-11-09T13:59:00.001-05:00

2008-11-08T20:25:00.004-05:00

the idea of a 365 journal is silly. i cant be bothered to write something on here 7 days a week. as youve seen, i have gone days and days without writing and it makes me feel bad. so now, this is just a normal journal. mmhmm.

as of late:
our one toilet broke and flooded our whole upstairs twice this week (pee everywhere!). our streets power went off all day today. ive no money for food. our heater is always breaking. the water sounds like a shooting gun because there is perma-air in the pipes. our oven burns cakes at 200 degrees. there are too many house centipedes. our walls are so cracked. there is too much mold. our shower drain is plugged so its like we are always having a bath. all of our lights flicker.
yet, i dont mind at all.
i love where i live.

2008-11-04T23:22:00.003-05:00

i feel so blessed to be alive today.

i am so so so excited with the turnout of the u.s. election.

tonight is a night of history!

and now is the time for change.

two very sweet things,

2008-11-04T17:04:00.003-05:00

i swear, this is my last kitten post.

2008-11-04T01:39:00.004-05:00

during the day, it seems all of my emotions come in bursts. they say "poof!" and they are gone. i cannot think during the day, there are too many beep beeps and speak speaks and distractions. the world moves too fast. the night is when i come alive. this is the only time i can adjust and focus. the time when i can stay hidden from those who are the not i. i can keep myself away from the prying eyes of "them". night is when i see what i want to see - this is when i can be tucked inside myself and i can be it. i can be whole. this is when i thrive.
right now i am naked and cold, but i am here. i am aware and i am alive. yet i fear that when the sun comes up (though i will be warm again,) my mind will go numb. my own me will disappear.

chillin out maxin relaxin all cool

2008-11-03T22:37:00.004-05:00

i want to fishy kiss this face.

2008-11-03T15:34:00.001-05:00

apologies, ive been swallowed whole.

2008-10-30T01:27:00.003-04:00

im your mamma

and i will protect you.

dont be sad, baby.

because i love you so.

cake for breakfast.

2008-10-28T13:50:00.004-04:00

my roomate made it for me. it was real good.

im 20 years old today.

2008-10-27T23:10:00.008-04:00

he is a liar.

i have to write a paper but i cant stop thinking.

i got a pink _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ from my family.

i want to forgive.

i want to tell you the truth, but i dont want to loose you again.

a kitten has disappeared.

my best friend is coming home soon.

i smell smoke.

those people make me nervous, thats why i dont want to go.

this is not a big deal.

there is a puppy here this week.

my roommate made me a rose cake.

i will watch "flakes" soon.

life. is. fragmented.

happy birthday britney.

we are all liars.

2008-10-25T12:05:00.002-04:00

time moves too fast.

sometimes i wish we could freeze it.

i am always original.

2008-10-24T00:53:00.008-04:00

in most aspects of life - there can be no rebellion. in art, almost everything has been done before. fads of fashions and favorite television shows will all be copies of the ones that came before. hairdos, favorite songs, and all other things are probably just rip offs. everything is in a constant cycle that changes every once in a while, but will always circle back to what it had once been.

but today i learned that within language, this is not the case.

in my philosophy of language class we talked about the idea that absolutely nothing we say has ever been said before. words we form into sentences have probably never been formed that way. intentions are never the exact same as what they had been with another. with the exception of some "hi, how are you?"s and "how do you do"s, nothing that we say in our day to day life has been muttered before. the sentence structure, the language of speech, and the meaning are all that's that are completely new. everything i said today was new, unique, fresh. no matter what is being said, if moral or immoral, if the truth or a lie, it does not matter. the same principle always applies - there are no universal speech. language is the only form of true rebellion.

this gave me a new inspiration. as one who is constantly trying to be different and try my own way of things, i have often found myself thinking that there is no way that i could ever be different then the others who have thought the same ideas as me. we are all stuck in a cycle of unoriginality. an endless trap of doing the same thing as everyone else. the rut of mediocrity.

language is my new found hope. language is my rebellion.

now, i am different then you.

i am always original.

mhmm.

2008-10-22T13:31:00.002-04:00

i want to go places.