im your mamma
and i will protect you.
dont be sad, baby.
because i love you so.
he is a liar.
i have to write a paper but i cant stop thinking.
i got a pink _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ from my family.
i want to forgive.
i want to tell you the truth, but i dont want to loose you again.
a kitten has disappeared.
my best friend is coming home soon.
i smell smoke.
those people make me nervous, thats why i dont want to go.
this is not a big deal.
there is a puppy here this week.
my roommate made me a rose cake.
i will watch "flakes" soon.
life. is. fragmented.
happy birthday britney.
we are all liars.
in most aspects of life - there can be no rebellion. in art, almost everything has been done before. fads of fashions and favorite television shows will all be copies of the ones that came before. hairdos, favorite songs, and all other things are probably just rip offs. everything is in a constant cycle that changes every once in a while, but will always circle back to what it had once been.
but today i learned that within language, this is not the case.
in my philosophy of language class we talked about the idea that absolutely nothing we say has ever been said before. words we form into sentences have probably never been formed that way. intentions are never the exact same as what they had been with another. with the exception of some "hi, how are you?"s and "how do you do"s, nothing that we say in our day to day life has been muttered before. the sentence structure, the language of speech, and the meaning are all that's that are completely new. everything i said today was new, unique, fresh. no matter what is being said, if moral or immoral, if the truth or a lie, it does not matter. the same principle always applies - there are no universal speech. language is the only form of true rebellion.
this gave me a new inspiration. as one who is constantly trying to be different and try my own way of things, i have often found myself thinking that there is no way that i could ever be different then the others who have thought the same ideas as me. we are all stuck in a cycle of unoriginality. an endless trap of doing the same thing as everyone else. the rut of mediocrity.
language is my new found hope. language is my rebellion.
now, i am different then you.
i am always original.
there have been a lot less thoughts on here then i would like, but its simply because i can never stop. my brain doesn't quit working and sometimes its very hard to pin down exactly what i want to say. i think a thought... but wait! then another, but wait! and another, but wait! wait! wait!
today has been a quiet, melancholy day. im finding my studies have began to change me.
as an anthropology student, i am constantly learning about people and the world. not of equations or fairytales or experiments, but of real people that actually live their lives and their love. i am learning of history and about places beyond here and people who i will never meet but who i would have thought i was much better then. i learn of 8 million being reduced to 15,000. i learn of 21 hour work days. i learn about how we have said MY ways, MY clothes, MY religion. and i learn that we were wrong when we said "it will make your life better! we swear." because that turned into boiling limbs and "sorry to say, but your babies are gonna die." wait! i wish we could reverse the past and turn the world back around, like superman. because all i want to do is hold their faces and say "im sorry, im sorry, im sorry. i love you, i love you, i love you, because no one else ever has" or, i wonder if we can actually change our future. i dont want this to keep happening and i dont want to stand still. i think all we want is CHANGE. but we are standing still and change is not among us. and they, they cant want anything because they may never get it. OUR world, OUR technology, OUR money. money money money money. we havnt changed at all.(the pictures far too big to look at kid, your eyes wont open wide enough.)
wait! wait! wait!
i wish i could be a writer... but i never use capitals and
one of my dearest friends graham and my favorite people from my teenage years are on tour with weezer! so on tuesday i got to see them play at the air canada center. it was one of the most exciting concerts i have ever been to... because... its WEEZER. (omg.)
oh, and angels and airwaves too. but ignore that. (ahah..)
i had to bring my camera even though i hate cameras at concerts...
we were very very far away, but i didnt mind.
these men were so cute! even though this picture is bad.
i got a turkey leg that was the size of my FACE
it rained a little.
old lady square dancers. they were so cute!
it was a tiring day.
after this we all had 3 hour naps.
this was our friday evening in fall. it was a really beautiful day filled with lots of amaretto gelato and books and cowboy boots that dont fit me and saying goodbye to my favorite late record store.