tonight! my friends are playing with weezer! yayayayayay! okay im leaving now!

i love this boy. he hates pictures like this. my kitchen smells good. 

i will post lots o' stuff when i finish(start) my biiig paper.

i want red hair.

today was reallll fun.

and sleepy.

l'elephant!

she is knitted with wool from sheila midechi's garden in kenya! she is so perfectly imperfect.

today i...

went on a lovely walk, 

painted the window of a toy store,

took some toy store photos,

and fell in love with the cutest little kenyan elephant that i am going to buy tomorrow!

hes on the top right! he is 40 dollars and i love him. 

we play endlessly

i have not written in a few days, oh well. i swear, its not because i havnt been inspired.
last night i saw sigur ros... it was a dream.
(for me, their music is an assembly of nostalgia, fear and sensuality. i remember the first time i heard them. lying on the floor with all of my old best friends, heads on each others shoulders and bellies, our bodies still for the 11:45 that is ( )'s 8th song. some of us cried and others fell into sleep. that was the best summer i ever had. in highschool all of my fantasies were always alongside sigur ros songs. every wish that i had would sweep into crescendos and match those majestic melodies and quivering voices. they were always hard and soft, loud and quiet, a lion and a lamb. the music always made me feel like i fit.)
i have paint all over my knees, face and hands.
i was trying to go back to the dream. 

"Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, there was connection between them again. It came on him as he was working in the fields. The tension, the bond, burst, and the passionate flood broke forward into a tremendous, magnificent rush, so that he felt he could snap off the trees as he passed, and create the world afresh."

green eyes.

faces are very strange. more and more lately, ive found myself changing my mind about people after i find out what their faces look like. i may not make sense. 

when i love a certain singer, and i dont know what they look like, i love that their music has an air of mystery to it. i love that i know nothing about them other then the the words they sing... yet if i figure out what they look like, no matter handsome or ugly, my ideas change about them and they are no longer the same in my mind. their creations become entirely different, and instead of it being some mystical and intangible they turn ordinary. this just happened to me with an artist that ive been looking at lately. whenever i looked at her art i always took specific features from her portraits and created a person of my own. my creation was exactly who i thought she should be, based on her art and her mind. of course, no one can reach an ideal, but i liked the fact that she had an identity that may or may not have been real. i liked that she was an enigma. 

its not that reality is disappointing, i just that faces are too real. they allow you to know too much. 

view from my window

(this will be my 365 blog. i will publish an piece of writing (mine or not) or submit a piece of art or a photograph (mine or not) every day of the next year (hopefully). this will be a lot less mysterious then my other online journals... and less mysterious may mean less compelling. i hope someone actually reads this.)

i realized that, as of late, i never record my thoughts. i used to write down most things that went through my head, but life got too busy and i forgot about my past attempts to freeze time and explain myself. i started this blog a couple months ago, and never wrote in it. i promise myself today that i will try (try try try) to write at least one thing down for 365 days. i know i may miss a day or two, but thats okay. i just want to remember what this part of my life was like.